Glastonbury Sun-day

Image by Ginger DJ via Flickr

Last day of the festival and we're now pinning and desperate for our home comforts especially our bed after suffocating in the hot van. We packed almost everything away with the intention to leave after the last act and avoid the Monday traffic. I've only dealt it with it once and once was enough really.

The first main act we wanted to see was Goldfrapp at the Pyramid stage. They started off ok but like most acts, they were trying to flog their new material which didn't go down that well. It was a million miles away from their glam-rock electro anthems as their new album was ambient folk rock. The May Pole dancers were good though.

Headed back over to Dance Village curious to see Crystal Castles at the John peel tent. Just missed them by half a song but they sounded amazing with the singer doing a crowd surf. I got the feeling the set was cut short as we heard some nasty booing straight after.

Watched some cabaret act in the Pussy Parlure but missed the best bit when some guy hung a car battery from his nips then electricuted the chains hanging from them. As I said in a previous entry there were multiple tents around the village including El Rhythmica or the Salsa tent. Every time we went past it was blasting out hip hop and R&B with no one in there. Very much doubt it will be there next year.

Seeing the Presets were refreshingly good and seemed to be a completely different band when we saw them with the Rapture months ago. For two Aussie blokes, who looked surprisingly smart and professional compared to their punky sound, made alot of good noise and whipped up the crowd well.

The Whip also sounded good from the 2 or 3 tunes we heard and they even brought out Har Mar Superstar as their new showbiz mate.

The last slot for music was a difficult decision between three acts. After having to forego our tickets from last year we decided to see UNKLE Live. As soon as their 'live' logo came up I knew it wasn't the best decision as James Lavelle totally turned his back on anything dancey and went OTT on the rock stadium anthem thing. After 4 songs we were quite bored of them and noticed a lot of other people leaving the tent as well. No Ian Brown either.

The opposite tent had Derrick May DJing and played some old Detroit style house and some okay stuff but generally a bit dull. A load of glow sticks got chucked about but none hit Derrick unfortunately.

We headed over to the Other Stage for festy favourites Groove Armada. Only caught the last 2 tunes but realised we should have done them in the first place.

Getting off the festival site was a lot busier than last time taking 45 minutes just to get to the public road. Along the way we listened to Worthy Farm radio with the announced texts moaning about the queues to go. After that it was a breeze and had a nostalgic time to Radio 1 listening to the weekend's highlights. Bit gutted we missed MGMT and Kings of Leon.

Glastonbury jaded: Saturday

Woke up to the sounds of Shakin' Stevens, and feeling a little worse for wear. It took us about 3 hours to have breakfast and get ready for our next site visit. The legendary toilets and getting higher with people's poop as they forget to flush and keep piling it on and upwards. At least the weather's behaving itself and when the sun's out it's warm.

With very little energy we headed anywhere we could sit or lie down so the Cabaret tent was our first stop with Simon Munnery performing. Missed most of his comedy set so drifted around watching the side shows and street performers. At this point the Twitter plan was starting to go fail as everyone needed their phones charging at the Orange tent, especially Sony Ericsson owners like me. Unlike the chilled-like atmosphere outside, everyone was either paranoid their phone was going to be stolen or were desperate to get a charge point. We spent 20 minutes circulating then left in a huff: the Twitter experiment would soon be over.

Trying to forget my obsession for technology we headed over the new site area of The Park then up the hill to gain some valley views. This chilled us out and gained some flag-tastic photos including Kerry being chased by some flies. Before heading back to the van to change our boots (with the mud really drying and no need for wellies), we checked out the Improv All Stars. A perfect performance from Phil Jupitus and co. As we watched a death march sideshow I nearly walked into Daddy G of Massive Attack!

We caught a little of Amy Winehouse's set which sounded a bit dodgy plus her random blatherings on keeping it real or whatever. We caught the last two songs of Hot Chip who a cover of Nothing Compares to you. Massive Attack were...boring and moody really and a bit selfish playing only '100th Window' monologue tunes. Tear Drop was the highlight but a slightly awkward performance from a non-MA regular who I've read to be Stephanie Dosen and not the Cocteau Twin singer. I haven't seen Del Naja dance so much which is weird as he's usually being moody or with his back to the audience. We left after the Horace Andy song with no older favourites materialising.

Couldn't really muster enough energy to go anywhere else. Instead we headed back to camp stopping off at the Theatre tent to fill in the gaps we'd missed from the Twisted Cabaret. The knife thrower was quite scary but even the assistant couldn't get much out of anyone with the general feeling of jaded-ness.

Glastonbury Twitterings: Thursday & Friday

As a relatively new member to Twitter, the instant personal status update service, I thought I'd update everyone on our Glastonbury experience through the blog. Shame my phone battery didn't last the distance and the Orange tent didn't have enough Sony Ericsson charge points.

Anyway, we left Brighton about midday Thursday with Mark's campervan for the festival. We were a little anxious seeing the news to see what looked like almost everyone getting there the day before so getting a decent pitch looked doubtful. The first shock was hearing the massive scrapyard fire had caused some major traffic queues. It took about 30 minutes to get in after joining the queue.

We went for the 'families' field with the prospect of actually getting some sleep but that didn't really matter later as you could hear the sound-systems from the main site. With the added space next to the fence, we were able to pitch up our pop-up tent and mini-portaloo - a welcome extra to Mark's van. Our new neighbour introduced himself and promptly showed off his home-made 'green door' ready to wave at Shakin' Stevens.

We checked out the site to see what new additions and changes had been made since our last visit some 4 years ago. No more Lost Vagueness instead Shangri La and Trash City (see picture); the Dance section has expanded to at least 8 separate tents; the John Peel tent has grown 3 times larger; new area called The Park has been created.

By the evening the rain had arrived and the mud started to appear which put a real downer on the experience. The BBQ couldn't be lit, our clothes were drenched, our neighbour was annoyingly pi$$ed and we suspected him of using our toilet the morning after. Waking up Friday morning to the cramp, twisted spine experience, it wasn't a good start especially with the wetness still lingering in the air. It was natural to have doubts whether we would still enjoy it.

Anyway, the line-up could not ignored and headed back on site against the persisting rain. The first stop was under cover for Jonathan Kay, a modern day fool. The last time we saw him was a very funny experience but this time the whole audience participation experience was just a bit one-dimensional. However, we were trapped with the rain outside and sat in the middle of a packed audience. Luckily, he got everyone to move outside and legged to the next tent. Unfortunately we ended up watching a poet rambling on how grim it was up North, very depressing but still the rain persisted. Luckily we only had to wait a few minutes until Alan Parker: Urban Warrior aka Simon Munnery came on to do his comic genius turn. If he ever tours, you must see.

We caught up with Kerry's work mate just after who'd never done a festival in his life but with living just a couple of miles away had decided to do some stewarding. Just showing him around Trash City and Shangra La was a real eye-opener for him. Whilst touring the wilder side of the wilder side of the festival, we came across possibly my favourite moment of the weekend. Inside what looked like a perspex mini-caravan with jukebox front was a 3 or 4 piece rock band: singer, drummer, a double guitar/bass and possibly another I couldn't quite see. After some research I found their website - The Dukesbox. An intimate crowd was gathering as some debated which song the band should play then they selected the number. They selected 'Born Slippy' and what a treat it was as the cover was a rock triumph.

After a quick refresh at base camp we start the evening with X-press 2 who go down well but don't recapture the magic of the first time - in fact they sound exactly like the first time with the same records. Roisin Murphy's straight after and starts her set well with some robotic dancing and lots of costume changes. She's also not wearing a bra. It's a pity she only does her new album stuff and ignores any decent Moloko anthems. We put up with it until she plays Overpowered then leave as everyone and their dog arrives to see Fatboy Slim. No point for us as he's at Wireless next week and in Brighton in September.

Silent Disco was our next stop waiting for Addictive TV. No worries about leaving a deposit and the music's not bad with added crackle and hiss. As the time approaches we realise Addictive TV are late and instead some reggae DJ comes on. Time to make a silent exit and avoid the zombies of the night. We head out to Trash City and look in awe at a futuristic open air rave with lazers, flaming lamp-posts, weird walk-by actors and freaks.

Finally stop before we crash is the Twisted Cabaret presented by Frank Olivier. With a hunchback for an assistant, this is a one-man cabaret show with different guises. Hilarious with his extreme limb twisting yoga master and climaxing with a tall uni-cycling, guitar-playing and juggling performance.

Sorry I missed your party

Thanks to today's B3TA newsletter I found one of the best blogs for a long time. Sorry I missed your party is someone trawling through FlickR photos for some images people would rather forget. It's worth reading the captions as well.

Here's some favourites we've found:-

• Ralphing
• I hate you Mum and Dad
• This is what ruined Woodstock 99 for me (NSFW)
• Nice faces

The blog invites people to submit their own photos so guess who I've sent in as a possible new entry???

Indy overdose

Just a few news snippets from my riveting life. My mum's house has received zero viewings or any interest. Only a previous viewing resulted in a positive reaction for the rented option.

Work-wise, my contract is ending in September but could be extended to permanent as the maternity lady goes part-time. Other work news was attending a charity evening last Friday with a raffle and an auction of promises. Those needy people in China and Burma got around £40 from me as I bought the promises of a baking lesson and a mountain bike tour of the South Downs.

I think we've overdone Indiana Jones. We're about 83% complete on the PS3 game and saw the film last weekend. The celluloid version was ok but not fantastic. It all started well bringing in a 20 year difference being set in the 50's with the atomic bomb testing and Hangar (Area) 51 jokes wearing well. But it was the OTT jungle chase that lost my respect and attention-span with action set-piece after another. Having Ray Winston double-crossing was pathetic and the alien thing was like...whatever!

The new mountain-bike has finally been delivered and I'm now worried about taking it out. It will look great next to the fireplace with the new showroom flooring.I'll just have to resort to cycling from the back door to the lounge.

Finally, we've been looking for a decent tree surgeon who could actually come back with a quote. After one no show and over £1000 quoted for the other I found another tree dude able and willing to cut down our wooden beast of Buller Road. Now I'm totally heterosexual but this guy had the total Diet Coke look and perked up Kerry quickly from her summer cold. I now see a business opportunity to offer our house for hunk viewings. Bring your own binoculars.

Lego Indiana Jones

Not really much going on apart from making our house a constant mess with tools, sawdust, paint, things in boxes and furniture scattered around the place as the DIY marathon continues.

As some relief to the home improvement slog, we treated ourselves to Lego Indiana Jones on the PS3. It's a great game for two people but the Star Wars one was just a bit better. Some of the perspectives are a bit confusing and frustrating at times but all the key scenes make up for it. We've already started the third film but there's so much else to collect and complete for that 100%.

Although the cartoon brick violence has been kept light-hearted, I was surprised to see Lego Indy kicking an arab in the stomach whilst he was down - not very sporting but hilarious. There are no references to Nazis either to keep it clean.

There's not much else to report on my mum's house for sale either. There have been a few viewings and good feedback but no one's biting with any offers. As the media reports, it is doom and gloom so the renting option is looking more realistic.

Finally, I've treated myself to a new mountain bike which should be delivered next week. Check out this beauty, a Saracen Zen 3. Basically, it's like buying a high-spec Range Rover for running the kids to school but I hope to take it off-roading near some hills to make up for it.

GTA4 as Police Squad/Naked Gun intro

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Strong Bad & Homestar Runner

Whilst trawling through my normal daily web diet of games, email and random blogs I came across a game title named 'Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People'. Really daft name but its based on a web cartoon animation called Homestar Runner. There's a few videos to have a quick chuckle including a wrestling bloke called Strong Bad answering email letters.

Can't be arsed checking out the website? Here's some embedded YouTube for instant satisfaction:

Learner flyer

Image by Ginger DJ via Flickr

I finally used my last birthday present from Kerry at the weekend driving up to Redhill for 2 hours of helicopter lessons. Excitement levels were sky high as well as the nerves as I wanted to get the very most out of the day as well as the possibility of taking it up for serious. With the inheritance money it could actually be feasible for me to change career.

Before the briefing, we were shown around the hanger which stored all the expensive, privately owned choppers. One notable helicopter was owned by an arms dealer/manufacturer, owning the Heckler & Koch brand supplying many of the world's special forces' guns. The better choppers costing at least £2 million.

The briefing was about 10 minutes explanation on the controls and the instructor telling me the rules of the lesson. I had to repeat that 'I have the controls' after receiving them just to make things safe. The other thing which caused some thought was the instructor informing me that if I couldn't go on any further before an hour was up was to admit it and not to try and carry on. I wondered how common it was for anyone to get that stressed out and give up.

We were just waiting for the learner-copter to become available (costs £70k to buy) and were told that the guy was able to fly on his own but practising around the field. As the guy got out Kerry mentioned he looked like Simon Pegg. With the situation we were in it seemed quite plausible. We approached him and I shook his hand in astonishment, proclaiming him as The Simon Pegg! But, alas he was not after saying 'you look like him as well', only the best ever lookalike to shame me in confusion (again!). Later, the instructor told me that the actual computer programmer had approached a celebrity lookalike agency with earnings up to £100k.

The actual lessons were quite intense and required absolute 100% concentration. We went out towards Tunbridge Wells and tried each of the 3 main controls individually. The handbrake thing called the 'collective' made you go up and down, the foot pedals turned you left and right in rotation like an office swivel chair, whilst the joystick or cyclic angles the top rotor blades so you can go back/forward/left/right.

What made it triply difficult was the minuscule movements needed to do anything. No wonder that previous trips up, the pilot looked like he wasn't doing anything. It took awhile to get anywhere near a safe, smooth movement and quickly got in the habit of verging off to the right. Some of the time was following a railway line towards a town which gained some confidence then practising some turns along the way. One cool moment was simply directing the copter to go through two large building cranes just like a video game (though actually we were quite a bit higher to do that). Changed altitude along the way as well as the slightly scary engine off scenario. The blades kept spinning and we went down gradually until the pilot switched on the power.

All this concentration just brought home the significance when the pilot asked me to fly back to the airport as he asked, 'you know the way back from here don't you?'. No, was the honest answer and just proved the point of how much there is to learn with the instruments to read, the navigation, avoiding air traffic, radio comms, the wind direction, visibility etc!

The second hour (yes, all that before in one hour!) was a shortened version of the above and returned to the airport field to practise hovering. More confidence points added for the rotation control then a real test of concentration simply hovering in one spot for a long as possible. The best time I could get was under 2 minutes. Another factor to consider was the time delay of the controls so any compensation of movement would need to be foreseen and adjusted by a fraction of a millimetre.

I'm still thinking over the idea of doing more and according to the instructor there's a high demand for pilots. A quick look on the internet didn't uncover any proper salaries quoted so I'll keep thinking and looking for more info before I decide.

Full set of helicopter lesson photos on FlickR - thanks to Kerry (and waiting patiently whilst I flew around).